Doctor Who: The Collision of the Doctors
by TheThreeNerdateers
Summary: This is a story about three roommates (Dan, Erin and Ash) who have the TARDIS show up in their kitchen one day, and are thrown into a world of aliens, cavemen and near-death experiences. Lots of sarcasm and sass. Chapters alternate between the points of views of each of the three roommates. *Disclaimer* we do not own Doctor Who, all credit goes to the show
1. Just an Ordinary Wednesday

CHAPTER 1, Dan

Doctor Who is my favourite television show. I'm sure that you love it too, otherwise you wouldn't be reading this right now. I'm also sure that you have many other favourite shows too, like me, but Doctor Who is definitely my overall favourite. Then again, it may just be my current obsession. I should ask Ash.

Anyways.

This entire story starts with Doctor Who. Ash, Erin and I all agree that it is a fabulous show, and always watch it on Wednesday nights; this Wednesday in particular being no exception. Of course, our love for this show is probably the only thing the three of us agree on, and so that night anyone within a mile's radius of our small apartment dormitory would have heard a lot of loud bickering (and I'm sorry to Livi down the hall, I know you were studying for a big test that night).

"Which episode shall we watch tonight?" I had asked everyone.

Erin, of course, suggested "Why don't we watch one from the beginning?"

"You mean one the first doctor, or one the first season?" I, a true fan, felt the need to clarify.

"The first season with nine!" Erin loves nine. Ash likes ten. I prefer eleven. You see why we argue so much?

"No way!" I whined. "I want to re-watch the eleventh hour!"

"No! I wanna watch the doctor dances."

"We saw that one five times this month already. I want to see eleven."

Erin whined "But why?"

"Because eleven is the best doctor!" I said matter-of-factly. This wasn't an argument that I would win, so I looked for support. "Ash, you've been awfully quiet. Which do you think?"

Looking up from a tumblr blog, Ash replied with "Hm? Oh, can we watch the one where they go to the hospital with the cat nurses? I like that one."

Erin huffed. "But nine!"

"Ashhhh," I complained. "You were supposed to back me uuuup. Maybe we can compromise?"

"Compromise?" Erin asked. "I'm intrigued."

"We can watch one of each!" I grinned, happy with my idea. Erin frowned.

"Hmm," she said, obviously trying to think of the kindest way to tell me my idea was stupid. "But wouldn't that take too long?"

I looked at my watch. "I don't really know. Apparently my watch is broken."

"Probably from when you tried to prove your karate skills by breaking the coffee table yesterday."

"I can't believe it didn't work." I grumbled.

"I can't believe you didn't break your arm! But in any case, we shouldn't be up too late tonight."

"Oh, that's right." I had forgotten, as usual. "Ash has that big test tomorrow. How's the studying going?" I turned to Ash.

"Yeah Ash, shouldn't you be off tumblr?" Erin asked, raising one eyebrow with a smirk.

I smirked too at Ash's lack of reply. "Very zoned out. Ash must be reading a really good ten fanfic."

Erin snorted. "Dude, seriously."

Before I go on, I should really tell you more about the three of us. I'm sure you think you know a lot about us just by reading that last section, and I'd like to tell you you're probably right.

The three of us met when we got assigned to the same college apartment. We're all art students, but we're all taking different kinds of art.

I think I can best describe Erin as the 'Mom Friend™'. She cares about us and tries to look out for us, no matter how difficult we make it. Ash is… Ash. I don't really know how else to put it. They'll both get a chance to tell you about themselves later.

And now, what you've all been waiting for – drumroll, please – me! I, the fabulous drama student (bet you never would have guessed). Diana Hunter. And now that I've told you my real name, I have to kill you. Seriously, never call me Diana; I only answer to Dan. I'm about average height, with long flowy blonde hair, intense green eyes, and a beautiful tattoo of a wolf on my ankle. If I had to sum myself up in one word, it would be intense – which is also my word of the week, so you'll probably hear me say it a few (LOT) more times today – especially when things get more INTENSE.

Hmm, anyways.

My favourite hobby is archery, but I would settle for fencing or sword fighting of any kind. I once even took a class on fighting with lightsabers, but it was really a let-down when they didn't make the KSSH! noises, so I quit. Someday I want to be a famous actress, but I haven't decided whether to bring my performing genius to the stage or to the big screen. Ooh, or maybe I could be on a long running television show like Doctor Who, that would be great.

And now, you have unlocked my backstory. I grew up on a farm – well, actually I grew up on many different farms, and houses too, since my parents are both actors who have to travel a lot for work. My favourite house was a farm though, and one time, when I was ten and had this great idea-

Uh, Erin says to save my backstory for later and return to the story. Yes, _mom_.

Blah, blah, arguing, tumblr, ten fanfic. Everyone on the same page? Good.

I looked over Ash's shoulder to read the screen. From what I read, it seemed to be one of the best fanfictions – you know, where they nearly kill off all the good characters, and then at the last minute, they save them?

"Wow that does look good. You'll have to send me the link."

"Oh, what the heck, send me the link too." Erin said.

Ash's eyebrows wiggled in a mocking manner. "Are you sure? This is like XXXXXXXXXXX-rated smut."

Erin grinned. "You know me Ash, I'll read anything."

Now, I may seem extravagant, but I am in fact the clean one in the group, thank you very much.

"Ooookay maybe not…" I stuttered. Ash gave me a look that said _I thought so._ "but we're getting off topic! We need an episode with all three doctors."

"And the only episode that has that is the 50th," Erin reminded me, unnecessarily. I decided not to remind _her_ that nine didn't have much of a role in that episode.

"The fiftieth it is!" I said.

"Yay!" Ash cheered.

"I'll get the popcorn." I yelled as I ran to the kitchen.

"Don't forget the butter!" Ash called after me. Also unnecessarily.

Erin sighed, sitting down and pulling out her phone. "Welp I'll just wait here then."

Ash shrugged, opening Netflix on the laptop. "I guess I'll pull up the episode then."

The microwave dinged to tell me that the popcorn was ready. "Ohhhh that smells good." I said, dumping almost a pound of melted butter on top. I carried the popcorn into the living area.

"Ooooooh, gimme." Ash said, grabbing the bucket out of my hands. I made a face and grabbed it back. Erin just chuckled and shook her head at us.

"Shush," I said. "It's on."


	2. The TARDIS Has Arrived

CHAPTER 2

Dan and Ash started singing the theme song at the top of their lungs. I figured they would lose their voices again, and wondered if maybe I should get some water for them. Oops, I should introduce myself: I'm Erin. Both Dan and Ash will call me the mom friend, but it's for good reason; those two need someone like me to keep them in check, as they will get distracted by the closest shiny object near them….they're like cats, adorable, annoying cats…. Anyways, back to the moment that's happening.

Dan started singing louder. "DUN DIGIDA DUN DIGIDA DUN DIGIDADIGIDADIGIDADUN DIGIDA DUN DIGIDA DUN DIGIDADIGIDADIGIDADUN," she sang loudly, Ash joining in as well.

"We gotta sing we gotta sing we gotta sing! OoooOOOOO00000000h!"

"OOOOOOooooooo"

"OOOOOooooooo0000000!"

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOooooo"

I snorted in amusement. Those two are such dorks, but they're my dorks. As we settled down to watch the episode we heard the familiar sound of the TARDIS materialising, although much louder than usual.

"Hey did you guys hear that?!" I said in alarm, looking slightly worried.

Dan shook her head, looking up at me. "I think that's my phone. My ringtone's the TARDIS, you know," she stated in a matter-of-fact like tone.

I rolled my eyes. "Thanks Hermione, but no, it was louder than that."

Ash looked confused, asking "If that's your phone, then why isn't it lighting up?"

Dan stayed quiet, looking confused as well.

"AND WHY ARE THERE FLASHING LIGHTS OUTSIDE!?" Ash started to look both freaked out and excited.

"I THINK THEY'RE IN THE KITCHEN!" Dan almost shrieked, jumping up and bolting to the kitchen, Ash following closely.

I followed after them, nervous about who could've broken into our apartment. Was I the only one who was thinking clearly here?!

Dan let out a loud noise of excitement, something like "OHMYGOSH!"

Ash stood looking wide eyed, out of breath and almost panting, "I-is that?!"

I nodded, wordlessly agreeing with the startled blogger.

"THE TARDIS?" Dan almost jumped in shock and surprise. "PINCH ME!"

Screaming was then heard from flat 221B.

Ash shook his head, "No...it can't be…."

Dan ran up to the door. "Try the door," she almost commanded.

I hesitantly opened the door, peering inside the small opening, suddenly feeling crowded by Ash poking his head in above mine, and Dan above his.

"Woah...that is waaaay bigger than our kitchen," she breathed out, looking in with amazement.

Ash had his jaw almost to the floor, looking like he had just met his favourite YouTubers. "It's smaller on the outside…"

I yet again let out an amused sound. "Shall we?"

Dan nodded wildly. "Yessss!"

Ash nodded in agreement. "I mean yes….. but where's the Doctor?"

"Good point. He's gotta be in there… Doctor?!" Dan called out, stepping through the open doorway.

Ash hummed softly. "Hm…. maybe he's knocked out?" He wandered through the control room.

A concerned look crossed my face as I walked over to the control panel. "Maybe he's not here?"

Dan fell silent, which is never a good thing; it always means she's plotting something…..and that scared me a lot.

Ash looked at me, asking "..Can we panic now?"

Dan shook her head looking like she owned the place, "No. The Doctor could be in trouble. We have to help him."

Ash sighed, "You're right as per freaking usual, so how does she work?"

Dan looked at the control panel, carrying her shoulders with some profound knowledge. "From watching the show…I think we press buttons at random."

Ash shrugged. "Sounds about right."

At that moment the door slammed shut, making us all turn to look. Ash was looking wide-eyed again, mouth opening and closing in confusion.

"What's happening?" I asked in concern for where the TARDIS was taking us.

Ash shrugged, "I guess we're travelling, question is...where and when?"

Dan shrugged as well, making my heart leap in fear of her plan. "I don't know, but here it goes!" she yelled as she pulled a lever, making everything spin.


	3. On Our Way

CHAPTER 3, Ash

 _AAAAHHHHHHHHH!_

Sorry, I should probably introduce myself. I'm Ash, your friendly neighbourhood pastel tumblr blogger. However, I also do regular live shows, especially if something interesting is happening. But more on that later. Right now, I'm kinda busy, seeing as we (Dan, Erin, and I) were currently IN THE ACTUAL TARDIS ITSELF and it was ON THE MOVE to whO KNOWS WHERE I'M SORRY I'M FREaking out. Okay. Back to the future story. So the entire console room was shaking and trembling like a chihuahua dog, or rather a washing machine (and we were the clothes).

"Woah!" Dan exclaimed, her head narrowly missing a tree-shaped beam.

"Where are we going?" Erin whined from a nearby corner, clinging onto a post for dear life.

"I don't know, I can't read this screen!"

"Well, why are we in this mess?"

"Because we wandered in here and I pulled a random lever!?" Dan yelled over the noise of the TARDIS.

"Well you shouldn't pull random levers!" Scolded the Mom Friend™.

"Fine! What do you suggest we do?"

Erin let out an exasperated sigh, "I don't know?! Talk nicely to the TARDIS, maybe she'll take us to the Doctor!"

Dan paused for a second, sceptical. "Alrighty," she said hesitantly, "excuse me miss TARDIS… We kinda need to get to wherever the Doctor is?"

Nearly before Dan finished speaking, the TARDIS hummed, almost as if to straighten herself out, and the control room finally settled down.

"Wow, it worked," Dan said surprised. "Good thinking."

"I know," Erin said modestly (not), and gave a small smile.

"So shall we…" Dan paused dramatically, "venture outside and- what are you doing Ash?"

Oh shoot. I've been caught. Remember how I said I do frequent live shows? Well…. can you guess what I was up to while Dan and Erin were arguing?

"Ash?" Erin asked dubiously.

"AS YOU CAN PROBABLY TELL, THE TARDIS IS STARTING UP FOR REAL NOW, WE'RE GOIN', PROJECT SAVE THE DOCTOR IS A GO! I REPEAT: WE'RE ON OUR WAY!" I yelled at my laptop's crappy microphone.

"Ash? Are you okay?!" Erin said in an alarmed tone, not seeing my laptop. Always the Mom Friend™.

"Ummm, Ash..?" Dan poked me, still confused at my lack of response.

I pulled out an earbud, finally noticing the pair of worried faces hearing their friend talking to himself. "Sorry what? Oh, yeah I'm fine, I'm doing a live show."

"Ohhhh," Dan finally understood. They're used to me live streaming at odd times.

"Ash! This might be dangerous! Why are you livestreaming?!" Erin yelped.

"Teehee?" I giggled innocently.

"We're here!" Dan said as the TARDIS landed, making the familiar whooshing sound that we heard earlier in our kitchen.

"Ok, well I gotta go now, we've landed! I'll keep you guys posted if I can, wish us luck!" I said to my viewers, signing off with my signature peace sign.

"So who's going to open the door?" Dan asked the general collective. Erin made an 'I dunno' sound, and shrugged.

"Hmm…." I thought for a second. "Everyone together?"

"Okay, let's go," Erin said, sounding excited but nervous.

"Ok," said Dan.

"On the count of three: 1…" I started.

"...2…" Dan continued.

"...3…" finished Erin, as we all opened the door hesitantly.

My jaw dropped. A deep "woah" was all I could get out. I'm telling you, I was shocked. I was expecting futuristic aliens, or Cassandra, or heck, even Daleks. But this? Nope. Did not see it coming.

"Are we…?" Dan, it seemed, could also not get her words out.

"I don't…" Or Erin. Ok, yeah, we were all at a loss.

Dan shook her head a bit, clearing her mind, and tried again. "Is this a Middle Ages fencing tournament?"

"No way." I was in denial. Like there must have been some weird alien crap behind it right? Or the Doctor wouldn't have been here. All of a sudden, I felt an abrupt tug on the back of my shirt, and found myself being practically dragged by Erin.

"Back in the TARDIS. Now!" She exclaimed.

"Good plan." Wow. Dan agreed with Erin on something. That must be a first. Should I write the date down or something? March 29th, 2017. Oh hang on, we're in the Middle Ages now. Uhh, March 29th, 1200 AD? No…. Ugh I have no way of knowing the year right now do I?

"Ack!" I yelped. Manly as always.

"If we want to explore, we need to get changed - we're not exactly dressed for the Middle Ages," Erin mansplained. Er, womansplained? Either way, she does it a lot.

"True," hey, she did have a point. "To the TARDIS change room!"

"To the closet!" Erin exclaimed at the same time as me. _Aw hell nah._ I thought. _Not back in there, I spent half my life in that dang thing, I'm not gonna give up my progress._


	4. To The Closet!

CHAPTER 4, Dan

Hey, everyone, the fabulous Dan has returned!

To the closet, Erin had said. I'm sure it seemed like a dramatic finish to the last chapter, and you are all thinking that I'm going to start by telling you about the beautiful closet that we found after checking the TARDIS directory and then following the signs as if it was a mall, or a park in Disney World.

Nope.

It was at that point, as we were still standing in the TARDIS control room together, that Ash said what I think we were all wondering.

"...Where _is_ the closet?"

I, the one who makes all the plans, immediately ran to the nearest door. I pulled it open and peered inside. There was a long hallway in front of me.

"I think it's in here…" I called back to Erin and Ash. Ash was checking out a door in the opposite direction from mine. Erin was standing at the centre console, rolling her eyes at the both of us.

"I'm going through this door, guys!" I yelled.

"Have fun!" Erin yelled back. Whatever, I could find the closet without their help anyway.

I entered the new hallway, which only had one exit at the far end. Opening the door, I walked in to find… an ice rink? Dang.

I slid across the rink and went through the Zamboni exit into a large room full of technology. Literally, there were computers, and smaller computers, and extra EXTRA small computers. This was a thousand times better than visiting the apple store, and with nobody to glare at you when you played with the devices!

But wait… Ash and Erin were waiting for me, and I couldn't come back without finding the closet or I'd look ridiculous. I was about to head out of the room when I saw that one section of the room had nothing but jewelry. I didn't question what jewelry was doing with all these computers, because I had just remembered that I had broken my watch the other day. I took a quick look at the watches and grabbed a digital one that looked pretty cool, swapping it with the one that was currently on my wrist. Then I headed out of the room.

The next area I entered offered me a choice of seven doors, and I chose the one directly to my left. I walked down a long hallway and found myself… right back in the console room. Erin was still standing exactly where I had left her.

"Find the closet?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. I glared at her, and she only smirked in response.

I was about to ask where Ash was, when I heard footsteps behind me. Ash entered the room from the same hallway that I had come from, but dripping water everywhere.

"Uhh, well… I found the pool." Ash said in response to my quizzical look.

Erin walked over and smiled sweetly at the both of us. "Are you two finished?"

"Why?" I asked. "How do you plan to find the closet?"

Patting the wall gently, Erin said "Sweetie, can you show us the way?" She looked over at the centre console in a pleading way. A moment later, a light turned on in a doorway upstairs.

"That way!" Erin told us.

I took the stairs in twos, and ran down the hallway. The door at the end was labeled 'closet'.

"This is it!" I called back, pushing open the door. As soon as I saw what was inside, my jaw dropped. Quite literally too, I'm not kidding.

Ash pushed past me into the closet, and then yelled "Holy clothing!"

"Whoa…" Erin said from behind me.

Let me take a minute to explain. Through that door was the biggest walk-in closet you've ever seen. It was more like a walk-in shopping mall, to be honest. But not an ordinary mall; it was more like the Destiny mall in New York. There were tons of floors, each one filled with well-organized racks of clothing of all sorts. Basically, anything that anyone had ever worn or would ever wear was probably in that room.

"Is it organized by year?" I asked, wandering in.

Ash was already two floors up, looking at band shirts from something like the year 2500. Wow, that was fast. Erin was studying ball gowns a couple aisles over. "Yep," She said, "And I found the Middle Ages!"

Ash slid down a railing towards us, holding a futuristic dress. Geez, that looked like fun, but Erin had that look that made me know that she knew what I was thinking. Drat.

Holding up the dress, Ash struck a pose and said "How do I look?"

"Great!" I said. "But I think dresses will just get in our way."

"Wrong era." Erin said practically.

"Dammit." Ash said. "Ok, ok." Walking into the Middle Ages section of the closet, Ash pulled out tights and a tunic.

"Ooh nice tunic!" I said, looking for one of my own.

Ash face-planted against the nearest wall and turned red. "Do I have to wear the tights?"

Pulling out a deep emerald gown, Erin turned to me and said "Dan, stop this nonsense with tunics. We are considered ladies in this era and are NOT allowed to wear pants."

Pssh. I knew that; I took that one history class back in grade ten or something. But you're still not going to catch me in some fancy dress. "I know, but still…"

"Well if _you_ want to stand out in a bad way, that's fine with me. Just remember I took history classes all through high school, and all throughout history women weren't allowed to wear pants."

"I'm wearing this tunic and you can't convince me otherwise, Erin." I held up a beautiful long green tunic, complete with a brown belt and black tights.

"Have fun, I'm not going to stop you." She said, rolling her eyes. "I'm going to change."

The three of us found some changing rooms along one wall, and a few minutes later Erin and I came back out looking like the actors at Medieval Times. Erin was working on braiding her hair back, and I distinctly heard her mutter "I think I tied the corset right…"

"You're wearing a corset?!" I yelped, eyes wide. I knew she was nuts.

"Dan, I'm wearing an off-the-shoulders dress. If someone sees my bra strap they'll be suspicious." Erin said, gesturing to her shoulders with a knowing look.

Ash's reappearance stopped me from saying something sarcastic and probably rude. The outfit that Ash had on was similar to mine, but the tunic was brown with yellow around the cuffs and neckline, and the outfit also featured brown belt and a white shirt underneath. No, I'm not a clothes fanatic; Ash asked me to describe it for you in great detail, and now I have.

Speaking in a loud commentator voice, Ash announced "Aaaaand, representing Hufflepuff, Aaaaaaaash Kippleeeerrrrrrrr!" Erin and I applauded loudly, and I cheered.

"Well, that amused me." Erin said.

"Niiiiice." I told Ash. "I should have gone for a red tunic, but I love the Legolas look."

Erin rolled her eyes again. She was starting to worry that we were losing it or something. "Dorks!" She said.

"Hey!" I pretended that she had offended me. "You're a nerd too, miss I-know-how-to-get-the-TARDIS-to-do-what-I-want!"

Smirking, she said "It's called being nice Dan, try it sometime." Ok, now I was ACTUALLY offended. My pride was GREATLY wounded. I am a VERY nice person, thank you very much.

Ash, who understood how I could be when insulted, made a sucking-air-through-teeth noise. "Looks like the battle started here without me. Is there any popcorn around here?" Ash asked, pretending to look around.

To be honest, if we had been back in the apartment and not in some medieval time period in an alternate universe, I probably wouldn't have spoken to Erin for at _least_ two days. I am quite good with the silent treatment, despite what you might think. But I decided to mostly ignore that comment and maybe spear her with a sword later (I'm just kidding, Erin, _stop smacking me, I'm JOKING_ ). Then I noticed that Ash was pretty much frozen, waiting to see what I was going to do.

"Ouch." I said through gritted teeth. Ash unfroze and ran to the computer. I finished pulling on high brown boots and said, "Well, I think I'm gonna head out now," before sauntering out into the console room. I could almost HEAR Erin's eyes rolling behind me.

"Okay, let's go." Erin said, following me.

"Hey Ash, we're leaving!" I called to the blogger who was currently typing rapidly on a _certain_ _laptop_. I'm not sure that I want to know what's on that blog. Ash quickly grabbed the computer and followed us.

"Alright, allons-y!"

"Let's find our Doctor!" Erin cheered.


End file.
